I was approached recently about a situation where a teen girl was being overly flirtatious with the teen boys and even the adult males on a recent youth trip. My first thought was, “How much flirting is too much?” I know as a teen growing up that my mom and dad cautioned me about being overly flirtatious. They were of course concerned about what that would make my boyfriend and other males expect from me but also how it made me as a girl look. The old saying, “easy” comes to mind. They did not want me to be known that way, and neither did I.
I know that we should not worry what others think of us, but as females, we should think about what we’re doing. We want to be sure about what our actions are to those around us, what language it is speaking, what vibes it is giving off and we should make sure that it is presenting ourselves to others the way that we would want to be portrayed.
Therefore, when teaching your teen daughter about this subject it is important to instill in her the principles about this that the Bible teaches. Yes, the Bible does speak on this subject. We are instructed in 1 Corinthians 6:20, “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.” When we loosely throw ourselves on the opposite sex, whether or not our “intentions” are good or bad, we are not honoring God with our bodies. God’s Word says that there should be “even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.” (Ephesians 5:3 NIV) Being overly flirtatious and loose with ourselves as girls can lead to sexual immorality and is in itself a type of it, therefore it is best not to do this at all.
This reminds me very much of the debate on alcohol, no God’s Word does not say specifically, “do not drink alcohol.” God’s Word does however warn about becoming drunk. In this same way, God’s Word warns us about our behavior, especially those behaviors that can lead to other things that would cause you to not honor God with your body. God created us and when creating us, he created us as sexual beings; however, he put some limitations in his Word for how we should use that to our advantage in the reigns of a marital relationship. God would only do this if it were what was best for us. God is the author and creator of everything; therefore, he indeed knows what is the very best for us. Explain to your daughter the very special and unique situation this creates in the relationship that God intends for us to use this part of our bodies for when you are giving her this warning.
It is important that we as parents talk to our daughters about this very important topic. I mean honestly, do you want someone else to have to call her on this when she is stepping out of line. Or would you rather her know in the first place and not be caught in this situation.
Alyssa Avant is a Christian writer and speaker, founder of Beauty by Design Ministries. Their Seven Easy Tips: Encouraging Your Daughter to Say No Guide will help you, help your daughter understand about sexuality and to say no. Check it out here
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Topic: Body Language
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